Rejection sucks.
But like all grey clouds promising nothing but rainy days on your parade, there IS a silver lining in there for those brave souls willing to plumb for it. So, having to deal with a healthy dose of the stuff myself, I thought I’d share a fe insightful tips I’d dug up to turn my frown upside down.
Think of Rejection as chicken crap; stinky, nasty and zero fun to be had with it. On the other hand, with proper handling, those same turds can provide fuel to propel you forward in life. Think of Rejection as a potential alternative fuel source for yourself. Here’s a few things you can do to fly in the face of rejection, and get your life back on.
It’s Likely Not Personal (most of the time).
Rejection is like a pointy object straight to the heart when taken personally. The good news is, it’s a part of Life, and often times it won’t be about you personally. Of course there are lots of times it is, but likely you’re not wandering this earth in a state of perpetual rejection, though it may feel like that’s not true. Not every idea will be a great one, your relationships may not all work out fantastically, your Business Startup may not succeed. Hell not everybody will be nice to you. It’s just how things are, and knowing it’s not You Personally may help in getting around the hurdles as they appear.
The thing to do? Get over it. Pole vault the hurdle, but do so quickly so you can get on with your life. Lose the need for other people’s approval, and have more fun with your life.
OK, So This Time It’s Personal
Good News: You have the power to do something positive about it. Your boss thinks your not talented, motivated, etc. A friend opted to bail on your relationship because of a characteristic or habit you possess they find… unflattering. Ok, so it’s personal this time. The chemistry just isn’t what you’d hoped for. Sort the minor stuff from the major – the important stuff to consider seriously, from the passing asides tossed your way. Be wary of what judgement’s other’s are making that really amount to nothing much -honestly- and if it’s really not heavy, brush it off. Life’s too short to be worried about how people judge your clothes, your laugh, movies you’ve seen. Time to move on.
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Serious consideration is best reserved for other important stuff, both personal and professional. Not pulling your weight at work, doing the best you can personally/ professionally with all your capabilities? Slacking off a bit and seeing both relationships and clients expressing dissatisfaction with your handling of things? Time to stop making excuses and getting defensive. Be responsible. Process the feedback and spin that stuff into something useful! Listen to criticism. Discern what’s accurate, and what’s not. Now invest some of that power I mentioned earlier, start changing things to what you want them to be. Get your stuff together– do the work on yourself, so you’ll be ready for great opportunities.
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Get Motivated to Realize Your Potential.
Each of us has opportunity (and responsibility) to make a difference while on this planet. Wether you impact one other person’s life, or you have meteoric impact on a million lives… you have the power to impact lives in a positive fashion. What you pursue in your own life, the stuff that makes you get out of bed in the morning, the stuff that makes you alive, that drives you to do more, be better– that’s the same stuff that makes the world come alive, too.
Passion has tremendous power. Wielding it for good- your own and others – makes things so much better.
When you’re doing what makes you happiest, most productive, feeling alive– you’re setting an example for others to follow. Living at the intersection of your passion, talent and skill makes you the best you can be, a joy to be around, a source of courage for others in following their hearts in pursuit of their own passions. When you’re a candle, you have the ability to light other candles. The cool thing is, with candle lighting– it’s free. When doing what you love, rejection won’t mean much at all; and that’s free-ing. Know who you are, what matters most to you, what you stand for- that’s the powerful stuff, and it opens doors for all manner of amazing things to unfurl for you. The decision rests with you and you alone in how you’ll move thru life, regardless of situation and circumstance. Be positive, continue to gain momentum and things will tilt your way, now or later. The key is persistence.
Stay Ready, So you Don’t Have To Get Ready
Will Smith, actor (and sometimes singer), has a profoundly simple formula for his personal success. Mr. Smith on his approach:“The only thing that is distinctly different about me is that I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things that can happen: either you’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple.
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So let’s go back to what I do when people reject me: I’m either going to get back in, or I’m going to die. The majority of people who aren’t getting the things they want, or aren’t achieving the things they want, is strictly based on hustle. It’s strictly based on being outworked, on missing crucial opportunities. If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.”
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Simple, but not easy. Rejection is simply not enough to stop Mr. Smith from attaining his goals. He has to die before rejection will stop him. ‘No’ is not NO to Will Smith- so how about you? Far too often we let rejection flatten our tires, bringing us to a standstill. You, me – happens to a lot of people. This does not have to be so.
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Will Smith doesn’t let this stuff stop him. Instead, he works harder to find the right route/ opportunity/ persons to get to ‘Yes’. He’s totally committed, not stopping until he reaches his goal or dies trying. Smith becomes a force of nature, and in that, attains his goals. Fire, Water, and Will Smith. Works for him, why not the rest of us? Get medieval on rejection, and get past GO.
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Here’s the deal, and I’ve been fortunate to see this in action many times in my life; When you commit 100% to making something happen ( by this I mean full-on, no doubt in your mind, not-stopping-for-nothing sort of commitment), the universe gets out of the way. Hey, the universe even helps out. Things start rolling your way, people appear with the right tools/ skills/ info and advice when you need it, etc. It’s a classic Hero’s Journey; commitment to a goal opens the doors for all manner of things to help attain your goals. You just have to say NO to No, and keep pressing ever forward. Work your ass off to get to Yes when it matters most to you.
Don’t stop until you do.
-M
Marc Lougee VFX Supervisor 